You Know Your Kid is Five When...

1. He starts locking the stall in public bathrooms and insists you wait outside.
2. You spend the entire car ride home from grandma's explaining how, and why, airbags work. IN DETAIL (you will have to make some parts up).
3. He calls you out for eating his candy. And tells dad.
4. He starts sentences with the phrase, "When I was a baby..."
5. He watches the "Sex and the City" movie with you, and asks incredibly astute questions ("But WHY doesn't that man want to marry her?)