Solution

Ben: I think we need a personal chef.
Me: We do?
Ben: Yeah. I'm tried of trying to come up with something to cook for dinner every single night.
Me: Well, we can't afford a personal chef. And if we could, I'd rather spend the money on a housekeeper. This place is a MESS.

Pause.

Me: Wait a second, I have the PERFECT solution!
Ben: You do?
Me: Yes. But...um, how do you feel about bigamy?
Ben: Where, exactly, are you going with this?
Me: Well, hear me out. See, if you just took a second wife, she could handle all the cooking and cleaning for us. And we wouldn't even have to pay her. We'd just have to put a roof over her head. It's PERFECT.
Ben: So, would this second wife be like a Nicki? Or like a Margene?
Me: I don't know. I don't even watch Big Love. But isn't Nicki the crazy one? So we'd probably want more of a Margene.
Ben: Hmmm. Margene's kinda hot.'s kinda hot.

Pause.

Me: You know what? Forget it.

Just go make us some dinner already.